I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
