please come you make the beer taste better
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
