if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
