dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize