if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
