You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
FUCK WHALES
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize