this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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