So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
