he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
