dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
