I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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