would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
