I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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