I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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