We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize