She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
