should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
