i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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