You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the day after is always just damage control
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
