Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
