it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
