I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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