You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
