I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
