Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
even my farts smell like vagina
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
