At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
