My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
