I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
