my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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