there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize