the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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