I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize