Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
