Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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