Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
