Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
