This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Randomize
