Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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