This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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