You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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