i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
