he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
