the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
