I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
