i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
