I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
