Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
