I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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