Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
