the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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