when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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