I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
