so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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