i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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