I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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