I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
