i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
