The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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