Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
