she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
