How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
