I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
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