Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
